Recently I was listening to one of my favorite speakers Rob Bell, address his church for the last time. One of the things he said really caused me to lean in and listen - it struck a cord and has stuck with me. He said: "Any change, even if its good change is always a form of loss and loss must be grieved." He later went on to say that "Grief is a sign of health." Whoa.
Grief a good thing? Mourning fundamentally important and essential? Great.
Because, here's the thing. I don't like to grieve. Honestly who does? Who even really knows how to do it? In our busy, crazy world who has time for it? Most of us don't call in and say "I'm going to take some time to grieve today." Or when asked by a friend or neighbor what we did over the weekend "Oh went to the movies, ate out, took a jog, and grieved." Yeah, doesn't happen.
If and when it does happen it seems something we are ashamed or embarrassed by. It's really not fun or popular to admit we're in a funk. People don't like hanging out with grievers. We want to move on with it already, get through it, numb it if we have to. Whatever it takes to get on to the fun stuff - the sunshine, rainbows and flowers.
Personally, I'm going through some big changes right now. They are good things. Exciting things. Happy and positive things. But Bells words ring true for me because I'm feeling the loss of change. Because as exciting and positive as my changes are, they are just that CHANGES. Pushing on into the new is forcing me to let go of the old and I liked some of the old.
So today I grieve. I mourn yesterday, even as I look ahead to tomorrow.
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."