Wordless Wednesday: Remember...



"You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp."
— Anne Lamott





Wordless Wednesday: Rogue Farms



Wordless Wednesday: Night on the Town





Wordless Wednesday: 3 days in July...

Wordless Wednesday: Forever Friends

Methven Winery

Yesterday I had the extreme joy and pleasure of accompanying three of my favorite people to Methven winery to celebrate my dear friend Carol's birthday.  It was a fantastic afternoon starting with a very fun wine tasting.  I was impressed with the quality and quantity of wine in our $5.00 flight but was particularly smitten with the first wine we tasted, a 2009 Pinot Gris.  Here is the "official" description:

There is an initial hint of minerality, but then a wave of pear and anise compote fill the nose.  Once in the mouth, the supple velveteen texture of the wine invites the taster to linger awhile.  The rich, but not overwhelming sweetness speaks to ripe conditions of the fruit at harvest.  There is a firm and fleshy finish that will pair elegantly with any Salmonid dish you can invent.

My very non expert opinion is that this is the perfect wine for a warm summer day!  I appreciated the crisp pear notes and found it overall quite refreshing.  This special wine will be saved for our next beautiful summer evening  - can't wait!

The bottle our birthday girl decided on was a 2006 Pinot Noir which was deliciousness too!  Officially described in the following way:

This wine was crafted from new estate vines and older vines from Elton Vineyards. Wonderfully complex aromas of root beer, pine pitch, and vanilla, vaporize out of the glass. The mouth-feel is velvety and supple, with flavors of currant jam and cassis. White-pepper and alcohol add a thrilling finish to the wine, making this a powerful, full-bodied food wine

I would heartily recommend this little winery to anyone.  It has a gorgeous view of Mt. Hood and the patio was perfect for enjoying our wine and packed snacks.  I will make it a point to visit this little piece of heaven on earth again very soon!

So thank you to Carol for being awesome and for having a birthday to celebrate!  Stay tuned later this week for more pictures of our fun time at the winery.

Some thoughts on being a "nice" girl

I have to admit that I'm a little bit perplexed tonight as I process what it means to raise a daughter in this place, time, and culture we're living in. 

Let me tell you a story:

Once upon a time there was a little girl who had a friend she was feeling smothered by.  This friend would follow her around all day long never giving her any personal space.  Although the little girl considered this to be one of her best friends she became increasingly frustrated by her.  The little girl came to her mother for advice one day before school and the mother said "Well, maybe you can tell her you two are still friends, but you're needing a little space for awhile".  This seemed to make sense to the little girl and when recess came around and the friend started following her around she asked for some space.  The friend walked away with her head down.  At this point the teacher on recess duty noticed the problem and intervened asking the little girl to please be nice and play with her friend.
And they all lived happily ever after and gave hugs and kisses to each other and skipped off into the sunset.

The end.

I am the first to admit that this is a sticky situation.  I want to raise kind children who take others feelings into consideration.  On the other hand there's something inside me that absolutely cringes at the idea of forcing this sort of "nice" behavior.  The conflict has not been solved, simply glossed over.  I'm just not convinced this was the best move on the part of the teacher.

According to Rachel Simmons in Odd Girl Out: "Research confirms that parents and teachers discourage the emergence of physical and direct aggresion in girls early on while the skirmishing of boys is either encouraged or shrugged off. In one example, a 1999 University of Michigan study found that girls were told to be quiet, speak softy, or use a "nicer" voice about three times more often than boys, even though the boys were louder.  By the time they are of school age, peers solidify the fault lines on the playground, creating social groups that value niceness in girls and toughness in boys."

And from Simmons interview with the girls on teachers expectations:  "Well, sometimes they're like, you have to respect each other, and treat other people how you want to be treated.  But that's not how life is.  Everyone can be mean sometimes and they're not even realizing it.  They expect that you're going to be so nice to everyone and you'll be so cool.  Be nice to everyone!"

"They expect you to be perfect.  You're nice.  When boys do bad stuff, they all know they're going to do bad stuff.  When girls do it, they yell at them."

"Teachers think that girls should be really nice and sharing and not get in any fights.  They think it's worse than it really is."

Oh, boy.  We've got a bumpy ride ahead in girl world!  But I vow to teach my daughter the BIG difference between niceness and kindness. 

And I'll be saying the serenity prayer often.  Starting right now....

via Cassia

A Special Treat

I had a wonderful weekend full of fun things!  Thursday and Friday were sunny and warm and  reminded me of being a kid those first warm days of summer  - excited butterflies in anticipation of the endless possibilities waiting to be had.  I kicked off the weekend doing one of my favorite things - visiting with my dear friend Carol while sipping on her latest concoction.  You see, Carol is a master drink mixer.  I had never really tasted a proper martini before she made me one and after that I was done for!

On Friday she tested out a new recipe on me involving lemon and strawberry and let me tell you it is my new favorite drink!  In fact it was so delicious that on my way home from her house I had to make a quick stop at the liquor store because I knew I would want to make myself another one in the near future!  And before you start judging me or calling me a lush maybe you should try one of Carol's drinks yourself.  I predict you will be hooked.  She has lot's of fun recipes on her blog and she promises to share the lemon/strawberry drink very soon - right Carol?  Until then I will enjoy my top secret recipe and my vip access to a drink mixing goddess!

Friday's Letter

Dear Mr. Veen:  sometimes when we're at a party I catch your eye across the room.  This is one of the best feelings in the universe - I am convinced of it.  Dear sink full of dirty dishes:  you taunt me the moment I get out of bed.  How can you be so very mean?  Dear ladies of Bentleys:  thanks for making Wednesday night the highlight of my week!  You can thank me later for my smooth talking ways of getting us the special menu.  Dear Self:  since when do you smooth talk waiters anyway?   Something about this late 30's gig is bringing out the tiger in you.  Dear Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova:  someone described this song as "like watching a feather float down from a tall building" = perfect.  Dear Spring Break:  I am both excited for and frightened of you.  Be kind please.  And last to Mr. Veen:  you are the corned beef to my cabbage, the soda to my bread and the buzz to my beer.  Over and out!

Key Lime Cupcakes!

Maybe it's because Valentine's day is right around the corner or there's a new cupcake store opening in our little downtown, but lately I can't stop thinking about cupcakes!  I know I'm a bit late to the trend since they've been "the thing" for awhile now but I like to be a rebel like that ya know?

Last year my friend Elissa gave me this cute little cookbook titled appropriately enough "500 cupcakes".  I'm a little embarrassed to admit that it's only recently I've begun experimenting with the various recipes, beginning with an apple spice muffin that turned out delicious!  So over the weekend when the baking bug hit, I turned to the book and my cupboard to see what I could conjure up.  Usually I wouldn't have key lime juice stocked in my fridge but I think I bought it several months ago in order to replicate a Moscow mule (a delightful cocktail!) so I was lucky that way.  Otherwise the ingredients are pretty basic and items most would have on hand.

~Key Lime Cupcakes

for the cupcakes

1 cup (2 sticks) sweet butter, softened
1 cup superfine sugar
2 cups self-rising flour
4 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla extract

for the filling

1/3 cup key lime juice
14 oz. can condensed milk

for the meringue

3 egg whites
1/4 tsp. cream of tartar
1/3 cup granulated sugar

Preheat the oven to 350.  Place 18 paper baking cups in muffin pans.  Place all the cupcake ingredients in a large bowl, and beat with an electric mixer until smooth and pale, about 2 to 3 minutes.  Spoon  the batter into the cups.  Bake for 20 minutes.  Remove pans from the oven and cool for 5 minutes.  Then remove the cupcakes and cool on a rack.

For the filling, combine the lime juice and condensed milk in a small bowl.  Remove the top from each cupcake and hollow out a small hole.  Spoon the filling into the hole and replace the top.  For the meringue, beat the eggs and cream of tartar until soft peaks form.  Add one-third of the sugar and beat for 1 minute.  Repeat until all the sugar has been added.  Increase the oven temperature to 450.  Spoon or pipe the meringue on top of the cupcakes.  Bake for 5 minutes until golden.  Store for no more than 1 day in an airtight container.

Makes 1 1/2 dozen



Aren't they just so cute?  I had never made a meringue topping quite like this and it was so fun to swirl the little tops on each cake that I actually giggled out loud with the result!  The kid's were also quite entertained by the marshmallow-y looking tops and it caused quite the little happy dance around the oven as they came out looking so pretty. 

I'll be using my cupcake cook book much more regularly now that I've made the initial plunge into cupcake land, because as Elissa would say "hot damn" those are awesome cupcakes!

Friday's Letter

Dear Mr. Veen:  lately every time I catch you watching "The Office" I'm reminded that you pretty much are Jim.  It almost makes me want to find some keds so I can be Pam - but not quite.  Dear 37:  so far you have shown me a pretty good time although I can't believe that I actually am your number in years!  In so many ways I still feel like I'm in college.  Dear Eddie Vedder:  this song is such a good reminder to just breathe, and there's nothing quite like your voice to do the reminding.  Dear first week in February:  historically you have been my least favorite week of all the weeks in the year  - however I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt if you can prove it to me.  I'm watching you!  Dear Friends:  we have known each other since we were 7 years old!  That means we've been friends for THIRTY YEARs.  Love you guys!  And last to Mr. Veen:  thanks for setting your alarm 15 minutes early for me today so I'd have a little more time in the bathroom.  I love you bunches of oats!

Food Hangover...

This past week and weekend I've been spoiled with some of the yummiest, best food and drinks ever!  And as a result of the gluttony I've realized a few things:  1.  The people in my life are serious foodies - I surround myself with people that not only love food but know how to make really good food!  2.  It's a really good thing I've started running.  The End.
Here's a little overview of my week of stuffing my face! 

Brioche and Coffee with Jessica ~

This is an almondly, orangey creation that Jess has made twice for me now.  I know it's a process to make and I totally appreciate the labor of love she puts into it.  It's one of those special treats and unique tastes that sticks with you and can't be replecated.  Beautiful and amazing!

Pineapple Upside Down Cake Martini and Pineapple Teriyaki Chicken Panini at Carol's ~

Carol never ceases to amaze me with her drink concoctions!  She's the one who introduced me to martini lunches and now I am hopelessly hooked.   This lunch was delicious and I've been craving the pineapple martini ever since!



Chicken Enchilada Dinner and Chocolate Birthday Cake at Mom and Dad's ~

Unfortunately I forgot my camera to document my mom's amazing dinner but here's a cheesy shot dad got of me with my cake.  The enchilada's mom made were from Pioneer Woman and were delicious!  And the cake was moist and full of deep dark chocolate flavor.  Thanks mom!

Birthday lunch with Tom at Por Que No? ~

This is a great little lunch spot that had been recommended to us by several people.  The pomegranate martini and chips and salsa were incredible and the atmosphere was super fun and interesting.  People watching is the best in Portland!

Alright, now I'm off to detox on carrot sticks and take a jog! 

Have a Happy Monday!:)





The audacity of authenticity

It's a new year and like many people I've been thinking a lot about fresh starts and new and inspiring ideas.  I wasn't really sad to see 2010 go - it wasn't my favorite year.  Mostly because I lost an amazing friend named Lorelei. 

Lorelei was a huge mentor in my life and taught me more about authenticity than anyone I've ever met.  She lived a truly honest life even through her battle with brain cancer.  She demonstrated vulnerability.  In fact she became in the end a picture of how beautiful vulnerability is.  She lived large.  She didn't sugar coat the pain, but instead by embracing it she modeled fantastic beauty and joy.  I miss her so much!

I think Lorelei would have loved the book I just read by Brene Brown called The Gifts of Imperfection.  When I read what Brene has to say about authenticity, my thoughts naturally go to Lorelei.  So as my kick-off to sharing some of my thoughts about the book I have to begin where the journey in many ways began for me.  Knowing Lorelei and witnessing her battle with cancer these past two years has changed me.  I cannot help but embrace this life I've been given in a new way.  Petty differences and drama are exhausting to me and I simply don't want to waste my time on them.  I have a renewed passion for living a wholehearted life!  And one of the fundamental ways I'm resolving to be more wholehearted is by choosing authenticity. 

Brene notes that authenticity is not something a person has or doesn't have - instead it's a choice:

Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are.

Choosing authenticity means

* cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and to be vulnerable;

*exercising the compassion that comes from knowing we are all made of strength and struggle; and

*nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happen when we believe that we are enough

Authenticity demands Wholehearted living and loving--even when it's hard, even when we're wrestling with the shame and fear of not being good enough, and especially when the joy is so intense that we're afraid to let ourselves feel it.

Mindfully practicing authenticity during our most soul-searching struggles is how we invite grace,joy, and gratitude into out lives.

I'm aware as I write this list out what a tall order living an authentic life really is!  I've had some practice and for me even though it's not easy all the time , I can't imagine living any other way.  It's a choice and a process and if we're lucky I think the more we practice it the closer we get to our true selves - the selves God designed us to be.  I know this because I've seen it.  Cancer ravished my friends body and eventually took it but her soul became brighter and brighter.  In the end - she shined.

We begin to find and become ourselves when we notice how we are already found, already truly, entirely, wildly, messily, marvelously who we were born to be. - Anne Lamott

 

Carol's Cinnamon Rolls

We woke up to these amazing cinnamon rolls the morning of Thanksgiving. I made them Weds night figuring that we might as well do it up Thanksgiving. The entire day is a gorge fest of food anyway - starting the ball rolling with cinnamon rolls isn't really going to hurt anything in the grand scheme of things - right? Right.
My friend Carol came by this recipe via Laura Jeffries on Food Network. The thing that makes these stand apart for me is the dough itself. It may be the milk or the amount of yeast used - I'm not sure. All I know is these are TO DIE FOR! That's all. The end. The van der Veen's will be having these again Christmas morning - already I can't wait!

CINNAMON ROLLS
Ingredients
2 packages yeast, (1/2-ounce or 2 scant tablespoons)
1/2 cup hot water
1 tablespoon sugar
1/2 cup butter
3/4 cup milk (warmed)
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon salt
4 1/2 cups flour
Dough topping:
1/2 cup butter
1 1/4 cups brown sugar
1/4 cup granular sugar
2 tablespoons cinnamon
Frosting:
1 pound powdered sugar
2 to 3 tablespoons milk
2 drops butter flavor extract
Directions
Dissolve 2 packages of yeast in 1/2 cup of hot water (test on wrist to make sure water is not too hot) and 1 tablespoon of sugar. Let sit.

Melt the 1/2 cup of butter and combine with 3/4 cups of warm milk (can be warmed on stove or in microwave, test on wrist to make sure milk is not too hot). Using an electric mixer with a dough hook or a food processor with dough blade, mix dissolved yeast and butter/milk mixture on low. Slowly add 1/2 cup of sugar, then 1 egg. Add salt and 2 cups of flour on low, blend until smooth. Slowly add 1/2 cup at a time, the other 2 to 2 1/2 cups of flour.


Put dough onto floured counter top. Knead dough until it doesn't stick to your hands (don't over kneed or add too much flour).


Place in a greased bowl. Cover with damp cloth and let rise for 45 minutes to 1 hour, until it doubles in size. (Tip, let it rise in oven where the air and temperature is consistent).

Remove from bowl and place on a floured counter. Roll out in a 12 by 24-inch (approximately) rectangle, not too thin. Spread 1/2 cup butter over dough, sprinkle with 1 1/4 cups of brown sugar (evenly), sprinkle with 1/4 cup of granular sugar (evenly), and sprinkle 2 tablespoons (or as much as you desire) of cinnamon (evenly).


Roll dough into a log. Cut into thumb-width slices or 1 1/2-inch widths.

Place in round cake pan or foil pan. Put back in oven to rise to desired height. Remove from oven after they have risen.


Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Only bake on one rack, center of oven (4 pans fit nicely). Set timer for 15 minutes, then watch for desired brown-ness. Remove from oven - let cool.


FROSTING: Combine 1 pound of powdered sugar, 2 to 3 tablespoons of milk (this may vary, add or subtract to your desired consistency), and 2 drops of butter flavor extract. Stir with spoon until very smooth and drizzles easily.


Drizzle onto completely cooled cinnamon rolls. Let frosting harden. Serve.
SERVES 30 ROLLS

yum!

Mompetition

Last night while browsing facebook I came across this video posted by a friend from high school and thought it was worth sharing.



ns.

I'm not sure why we like to compete with each other so much. I know I'm not immune to joining into being competitive but when I find myself falling into that I don't like how it feels.   I recently read a magazine article titled "Frenemies" by Jenny Everett.  In it she shares this sobering statistic "Eighty-eight percent of women reported feeling an undercurrent of negativity among females.  That's really sad, since we can be so good for one another.  Research has proved that female-female relationships actually boost our immunity."  I have experienced many wonderful female relationships in my life that have been inspiring and supportive as well as challenging.  For me, these types of friendships are essential and a priority in my life.  Yes, they take time and as with any meaningful relationship aren't always conflict free but the benefits far exceed the risks. 
As a mother, I hope to be an example to my daughter of how wonderful friends can be and that if we truly know and love ourselves as we are,  we'll be less likely to compare and fall into ugly competition.  Everett sums up her article by saying "In my research, the role of moms kept coming up.  We have to lead by example--no more gossiping in front of our daughters.  We also need to instill more confidence in them.  Without a healthy sense of self, they look to their peers for confirmation of their worth.  We can change that by helping them feel powerful straight out of the gate."  Well said - and just for the record if I came across a mommy like the blond in this video I'd be telling her to f-off too!