Mental Health Monday

Last Monday Mr. Veen and I escaped.  Well, that sounds a bit more dramatic than it actually was, but truly it felt like a jail break of sorts.  You see, it's been a rough winter.  I've been so busy and stressed with school and life.  So when Mr. Veen suggested we sneak away for a Monday lunch at the beach I fell in love with him all over again!  It's amazing how just a few hours with the roar of the ocean and the call of the seagulls helps me breathe.  What an amazing place we get to call home....

"It doesn't get any easier, just different"

I'm guessing just about every mom out there has heard the phrase "It doesn't get any easier, just different" uttered at some point along their parenting journey.  Heck - I'm pretty sure I've even said this once or twice.  Remind me to slap myself next time I say this to someone.  I don't know why, it just comes across a little bit condescending like "Oh, honey - you think you've got it bad now - just WAIT until their teenagers!  You ain't seen nothin yet!"  Understandably, I guess it's a way for moms to feel they've passed some sort of level or something.  But, every once in awhile I'm hit with the realization that this is IT - this right now is parenting.  I am, as I type, literally smack freakin dab in the middle of this and honestly - sometimes its completely overwhelming.

Take today for example.  We had a perfectly great day.  It started out by sleeping in, followed by lazing around until noon in our p.j's, watching t.v., playing video games, online shopping, etc.  The kids had fun helping me blow up balloons and decorate with streamers for Jake's birthday party tomorrow.  Jake and I busted some moves to the Avett Brothers, Ella and I lip syched to the Biebs (much to Jake's horror), and I didn't really have to cook because we were stocked with Thanksgiving leftovers.  We ended the evening by splitting up boys and girls.  The boys watched Tron and the girls watched Summer Eleven.  All in all - LOTS of good family time, bonding, fun, kids, kids, dog, kids, kids movies, kids, .....

And here is where I admit to becoming claustrophobic and overwhelmed.

And here is where I disappear to my bedroom and lock the door for some mommy time.

Because here's the deal.  I adore my family.  I LOVE them.  But, you guys sometimes I just want to be an adult.  And not just for an hour after they've gone to bed, and not just for half a day when they're at school  - but an adult all day long.  And Mr. Veen (God love him) is sort of like Peter Pan a lot of the time around here.  I mean, he's pretty good with living in kid world all day.  And then I start feeling like I'm a mean old hag that hates little children and wants to cook them in a big stew pot for dinner.  And before you know it we've become a fairy tale and its really not cute or cuddly at all. 

*o.k. - if you've made it this far in my little story you must now scroll down and look and the lovely picture below of me and my family.  I really would never, ever eat them.  Promise.

So, yes  okay already  - whoever said "It doesn't get any easier, just different" you are right.  You win.  It's hard, relentless, exhausting, overwhelming, and never, ever perfect.  And I am no expert at all.  I fully anticipate looking back at this season and wondering what I had to complain about.  I know for a fact that a day will come when I will give anything to flashback exactly to this moment and experience what I did today.  That's why I wrote this down.  I want to remember today in all its guts and glory.  I want to remember hopping up and down with Jake and how his smile makes me melt as well as how annoyed I was with him when he kept saying "I'm bored."  I want to remember cuddling with Ella on my bed and kissing her squishy soft cheeks as well as how I couldn't wait for her to get into her own bed tonight.  Because it's both - guts and glory.   And yes....it's not easier - just different.  But  - you didn't hear me say that.

Fridays Letter

Dear Mr. Veen:  thanks to you I am now hooked on the show Parks and Rec.  Bonus points to anyone who can guess which characters on the show are my favorites.  Dear Rachael Austin:  it was a special treat receiving your print in the mail this week - love it!  Dear Church Street:  you MUST be one of the most beautiful streets in our humble little city this time of year.  I feel lucky to live here.  Dear Biebs:  thank you for bringing me good tidings of great joy with your new cd.  Dear Video:  anyone who doubts the mystery of creation needs to watch you.  That's all.  And last to Mr. Veen:  I have 3 words for you:  THREE DAY WEEKEND!


Murmuration from Sophie Windsor Clive on Vimeo.

Friday's Letter

Dear Mr. Veen:  the other day you got home early and inside I felt like Henry looks when he's wagging his tail furiously.  Surprises are so nice.  Dear Halloween Eve Rain:  thank you for reading my mind and STOPPING just in time for treat or treating, I appreciate it.  Dear Kit Kats, Dots, and Milky Ways:  I blame you guys for the huge zit that's emerged on my face and also for general feelings of bloatedness and mood swings.  You are pure evil.  Dear Iron and Wine and Marketa Irglova:  thank you for having gorgeous voices to sing this lovely song and also for helping me get PUMPED to see Breaking Dawn!  Dear Minutes:  there are never enough of you in the day.  That's all.  And last to Mr. Veen:  psst - it's Friday!  Whoop!

Get More: Iron & Wine, Flightless Bird, American Mouth (Wedding Version), Free Music Videos

Hi-Ho!

Today is my first day on the new job.  I'm excited, nervous and at times wondering what the heck was I thinking to think I could juggle this and do everything I've already been doing? 

The truth is, I won't be able to do it all.  I never did, and I still won't.  The truth is, this part time job is going to force me to delegate - to the kid's, to Mr. Veen, to friends.  I'm realizing I'm not good at delegating. 

The truth is, it's another step in letting go a bit....letting my birdies stretch their wings and in return I get to try mine out a little again. 

Wish us all luck!



Friday's Letter

Dear Mr. Veen:  Do you know that there are few things more attractive to me than seeing you doing laundry and unloading the dishwasher?  Dear Jake and Ella:  It is so much fun to watch you grow up into your own people - I can't believe I have a 5th and 3rd grader this year!  Dear Self:  It's been approximately eight years since you've had a traditional "job"; no wonder co-workers, lunch breaks and paperwork feel so foreign to you.  Dear Mom:  A few days ago I actually said out loud "I smell fall in the air" - remember how mad I used to get at you when you would say that?  Dear Awesome Song found below:  I first heard you about a year ago and then heard you again last week when I went to see this movie.  You are a keeper for sure.  And last to Mr. Veen:  It makes me happy to watch you ride away on your bike complete with safety helmet.  So glad that it's Friday and we have a nice long weekend ahead!

HAPPY WEEKEND ALL!

Friday's Letter

Dear Mr. Veen:  it's fun to have another "kid" around the house and share being proud parents together.  Wasn't Henry cute the other night when he was barking in his sleep?  Dear Summer:  to quote one of my favorite books Olivia:  "You know you really wear me out, but I love you anyway!"  I hope you love me anyway too.  Dear Foster The People:  I like your sound and can relate to the lyrics in this song especially this week.  Dear Solitude:  sometimes I crave you so much and think it's incredible how truly elusive you can be in this big, loud, busy world.  Dear Grandpa:  96?!  That is amazing.  I will stop complaining now about being tired.  And last to Mr. Veen:  it's Friday - your favorite day of the week - let's do something fun tonight!

Over and out -

Friday's Letter

Dear Mr. Veen:  today we were discussing the fact that sometimes in groups of people everyone else is laughing SO HARD at something that we find only mildly amusing.  It may merit a soft chuckle but not a full belly laugh.  I love sharing these similarities with you.  Dear Dexter:  I am sad to say that it was love at first sight for me until I was told about your potty issues.  I still think you are mighty cute.  Dear Allergies:  you are in full swing at my house with both myself and Jake waking up with you, however historically you are usually pretty much done by the 4th of July.  Please continue this tradition and take your leave soon.  Dear Kelly Clarkson:  this song is appropriately themed for the weekend and also I just like it, plus the video makes me want to play sing star again.  Dear Lazy Days of Summer:  I love you. That's all.  And last to Mr. Veen:  recently you were challenged to keep up with me on a three mile.  I'm looking forward to cashing in on your acceptance very soon - bring it!

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY WEEKEND ALL!

Meringue Frosting & Fun Centerpiece

Last weekend we had a fun little dessert/drinks gathering with friends to celebrate Mr. Veen's birthday.  Probably my favorite way to entertain a group is by throwing food/drinks out on the table and letting everyone help themselves.  After all - I want to enjoy the party too!  For Mr Veen's party I decided to do a dessert buffet.  Although I'm happy with the end result in retrospect I would have switched out a few of the things I made and focused on a more "manly" theme.  Maybe Guinness cupcakes instead of strawberry?  Hmm....maybe next year!

Two of my favorite things on the above table were the wine-cork flower centerpiece and the meringue frosting on the strawberry cupcakes.  The centerpiece is an idea I spotted in a wine shop last week and I loved it and knew immediately I'd copy.  My yard has some great flowers for making arrangements right now so all I had to do was run outside to snip the lilac and columbine.  I thought it looked extra pretty with the votives around the base.

The meringue frosting is so fun and easy and it worked especially well on the mini sized cupcakes.  Here's the recipe:

3 egg whites

1/4 tsp. cream of tartar

1/3 cup granulated sugar

Beat the eggs and cream of tartar until soft peaks form.  Add one-third of the sugar and beat for 1 minute.  Repeat until all the sugar has been added.  Increase the oven temp. to 450.  Spoon or pipe the meringue on top of the cupcakes.  Bake for 5 minutes until golden.  Store for no more than 1 day in an airtight container.

It worked well for me to place the baked cupcakes on a cookie sheet to pipe the meringue (I just used a plastic baggy with small hole), and then bake for 5 minutes.

Easy- peasy! 

Friday's Letter

Dear Mr. Veen:  I think you're cute even with a missing tooth - it must be love!  Dear Blogger:  I don't appreciate you shutting down on me like that - and where did yesterday's post disappear to?  Maybe there are tiny men in my computer after all.  Dear May:  although you have delivered some flowers, April apparently did not get the memo to stop showering.  Dear Drama:  I. DON'T. DO. YOU.  please take a hint.  Dear Ella:  I love that I can send you into hysterical laughter by making Mr. Cow fart, in fact it maybe might have been the highlight of my day yesterday.  Dear Gnarls Barkley:  bonus points for providing the perfect song and video to cap off the week of all things crazy.  And last to Mr. Veen:  thanks for loving this crazy girl!

Peace out!

Strawberry Crazy Cure

A few weeks ago it was Easter and I made this fantastic, amazing, mouth-watering cake.  Let me just say that this cake makes me happy.  It makes me almost forget that it has been raining like, forever around here.  This cake is sooo good that if I had some right now it might slip my mind that Mr. Veen's tooth fell out today, and Thing 1 and 2 have colds.  I might even not care that precisely as a result of eating this cake my shorts fit a little snugger.  Because of this cake I may just be able to believe that the sun will eventually shine long enough to ripen instead of rot our lovely Oregon strawberries. 

I think I may need to make this cake again.  Maybe you do too.

Here's how:

Strawberry Shortcake Cake via PW

Ingredients

• 1-½ cup Flour
• 3 Tablespoons Corn Starch
• ½ teaspoons Salt
• 1 teaspoon Baking Soda
• 9 Tablespoons Unsalted Butter, Softened
• 1-½ cup Sugar
• 3 whole Large Eggs
• ½ cups Sour Cream, Room Temperature
• 1 teaspoon Vanilla
• _____
• Icing
• ½ pounds Cream Cheese, Room Temperature
• 2 sticks Unsalted Butter
• 1-½ pound Powdered Sugar, Sifted
• 1 teaspoon Vanilla
• 1 pound Strawberries

Preparation Instructions

IMPORTANT: Be sure to use a cake pan that’s at least 2 inches deep! Before baking, the batter should not fill the pan more than halfway.
Sift together flour, salt, baking soda, and corn starch.
Cream 9 tablespoons butter with the sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, mixing well each time. Add sour cream and vanilla and mix until combined. Add sifted dry ingredients and mix on low speed until just barely combined.
Pour into greased and floured 8-inch cake pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 to 50 minutes, or until no longer jiggly like my bottom. Remove from cake pan as soon as you pull it out of the oven, and place on a cooling rack and allow it to cool completely.
Stem strawberries and slice them in half from bottom to top. Place into a bowl and sprinkle with 3 tablespoons sugar. Stir together and let sit for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, mash the strawberries in two batches. Sprinkle each half with 1 tablespoons sugar and allow to sit for another 30 minutes.
Make icing: combine cream cheese, 2 sticks butter, sifted powdered sugar, vanilla, and dash of salt in a mixing bowl. Mix until very light and fluffy.
Slice cake in half through the middle. Spread strawberries evenly over each half (cut side up), pouring on all the juices. Place cake halves into the freezer for five minutes, just to make icing easier.
Remove from freezer. Use a little less than 1/3 of the icing to spread over the top of the strawberries on the bottom layer. Place the second layer on top. Add half of the remaining icing to the top spreading evenly, then spread the remaining 1/3 cup around the sides.
Leave plain OR garnish with strawberry halves.
IMPORTANT: Cake is best when served slightly cool. The butter content in the icing will cause it to soften at room temperature. For best results, store in the fridge!

It really is good!  It almost makes you not care about how crazy life is.  Crazy.  Now that's something to talk about...... 
Stay tuned this week for a little (or alot) of crazy!  Can you dig it?

Friday's Letter

Dear Mr. Veen:  late night run to DQ for sundaes on a Thursday night?  Yes please!  Dear cute house with the purple door:  every time I jog past you in the a.m. I get a little spring in my step.  Thanks for being so charming.  Dear hand written letter:  your timing yesterday could not have been more appropriate and your author has taught me a thing or two about your beauty.  Loved you!  Dear Avett Brothers:  you had me at beards and banjos - CANNOT WAIT to see you in July.  Dear Sunshine:  sometimes when you are shining through pink clouds in the early morning hours I feel like it is just for me.  This is one of the best feelings in the world.  And last to Mr. Veen:  we've rocked some awesome hair and styles these past 17 years. Thanks for being my constant side kick through it all. 

Go on a date already!

Although I'm not really a "soapbox"  kinda gal, there are a few things that I feel passionately enough to defend.  So hold on, if you get easily offended today might not be for you.  The thing I want to talk about today is dating - specifically going out on regular dates even  after you've been married for 5, 10, 15, heck even 17 years!  I know some may scoff and say this is only for those cute, fluffy, romantic types but I would argue that it's one of the things that keeps my marriage to Mr. Veen so strong.  I think it's a non-negotiable, a must, and needs to be a priority for couples.

And yes, I have to admit that we have a sweet deal worked out with my parents who actually offer and want to take our kids every other week.  We are darn lucky - I'm very aware of that!  But even before we had that arrangement with them we traded with friends, joined babysitting co-ops, and have hired babysitters in order to get dates.  It's one of the main reasons I will almost always say "yes" if a friend is looking for help watching kids so they can get out with just their husband.  And even if you have to pay for babysitting isn't your marriage one of the most ( if not most) important things you could invest in? 

Sorry - see? soapbox....

O.k. - lest you think I'm too much of a Pollyanna and assume Mr. Veen and I are just one of those "special", "chosen" couples let me ease your mind right now.  I'm not going to go into the details of my marriage on a blog, but I will say we work at it.  And yeah, we get in fights and get annoyed with each other.  We often don't see eye to eye on things from what time to make breakfast on Sundays to how to co-parent our children.  However,( probably in large part to the fact that we still date) we really and truly are each others best friend.  I would rather hang out with Mr. Veen than anyone.  We have great, long talks but we also love being silly together.  In fact, laughing together is so important and no one can crack me up quite like my husband!

So, please - for the love of pete go out on a date already!  Spend time with the person you chose to do life with.  It's important.  The End.

P.S.  If you can't find a babysitter you know who to call......;-) eeeekkkk!!

via TexasGirlDesigns

A Little Getaway!

Over the weekend Mr. Veen and I were lucky enough to get away to the Oregon Coast to celebrate our upcoming 17th. anniversary.  For our destination of choice we decided on Nye Beach which is an artsy little pocket on the oceanfront in Newport.  We stumbled upon Nye Beach a few years ago and fell in love with it's art galleries, amazing little coffee shops, bakeries and vintage clothing stores.  And even though the weather wasn't exactly perfect for our getaway we had a wonderful, restful time!

One of the highlights of our trip was stopping in Depoe Bay for a late lunch at Tidal Raves which I'd mentioned over here a few weeks ago.  As usual, our visit there didn't disappoint!  We were seated right by the windows with a sweeping view of the bay and enjoyed halibut fish and chips with chowder, fresh sourdough bread and coleslaw.  I don't think I've ever had a bad meal or experience at this place and if you manage to save room for dessert it is out of this world.  But what really makes this place so special is the location.  It feels almost like you are hanging over the bluff and there's something so mesmerizing about watching the waves crash into the rocks below. 

In fact, this place is so special that  movie was filmed here not too long ago.  The Burning Plain is not necessarily a cozy, feel good movie but I went to it because I wanted to see one of my favorite places on the big screen.  It's also fun to think of Charlize Theron hanging out in Depoe Bay.  Here's a little clip from the movie where you get a glimpse of the outside of the restaurant and the bay behind it.

The sun is shining today and it's helping make my transition back into the routine much more bearable!  Wishing you a marvelous  Monday!

Friday's Letter

Dear Mr. Veen:  sometimes when we're at a party I catch your eye across the room.  This is one of the best feelings in the universe - I am convinced of it.  Dear sink full of dirty dishes:  you taunt me the moment I get out of bed.  How can you be so very mean?  Dear ladies of Bentleys:  thanks for making Wednesday night the highlight of my week!  You can thank me later for my smooth talking ways of getting us the special menu.  Dear Self:  since when do you smooth talk waiters anyway?   Something about this late 30's gig is bringing out the tiger in you.  Dear Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova:  someone described this song as "like watching a feather float down from a tall building" = perfect.  Dear Spring Break:  I am both excited for and frightened of you.  Be kind please.  And last to Mr. Veen:  you are the corned beef to my cabbage, the soda to my bread and the buzz to my beer.  Over and out!

Friday's Letter

Dear Mr. Veen:  it seems recently we have entered a new era in our household consisting of crushes, love notes, and general "tween-ness".  HOW ON EARTH did this happen?  Dear Thrifting:  it seems you are feast or famine.  After many trips consisting of no finds I was happy to be rewarded yesterday with this and this.  Happy hearts abound!  Dear mother of vomiting child in the grocery store:  I'm really, really, really sorry!  That's all.  Dear Coldplay:  this song perfectly ends my week.  p.s.  I'd love to see you in concert some day.  Dear Cosby Show:  you are just as good to my 37 year old self as you were to my 10 year old self - although now I'm laughing at the parents instead of the kids.  Thanks for proving some things never go out of style.  And last to Mr. Veen:  your patience with me is astounding.  Thank you for listening to my dramas and ramblings.  Beyond lucky to have you!

Emergency Oatmeal Cookies!

Last week because of Thing 1's teeth situation I stocked up on the foods he was allowed:  Popsicles, ice cream, jello and pudding.  Typically we don't have snack size banana cream pudding stocked in our fridge, and it's even more rare to have redi whip, banana pudding and fresh (just right) banana's all available at once.  With these three delicious ingredients I came up with the perfect little dessert: Banana pudding with cut up fresh bananas and finished with whipped cream.  Delish!

So after a busy day Saturday I was looking forward to re-creating this little treat after the kids were in bed.  With anticipation building for my sweet end of the day reward I walked into the kitchen where I found none other than Mr. Veen with his head deep in the fridge.  When he emerged I was horrified to find the last  banana pudding in his hands.  "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"  I exclaimed, (obviously he had no clue that he was foiling my dessert plans), he looked at me incredulously and said "WHAT?".  "That was MY pudding - I've been thinking about it ALL DAY (slight exaggeration)" I shrilled.  And this part is what absolutely kills me and let's me know that 17 years into marriage apparently the honeymoon has officially ended.  My sweet Mr. Veen just looked at me and said "Too bad - I got here first."  I stood there stunned and dumbfounded and after several failed attempts to sweet talk him into handing over the pudding I knew I had failed. So I did what any resourceful girl would and came up with plan B.  "Since you took the LAST pudding from me now I'm forced into making oatmeal cookies.  You'll have to finish tucking the kids in so I can bake them." 

And there you have it - Emergency Oatmeal Cookies
(recipe taken from allrecipes)

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup butter, softened
• 1/2 cup butter flavored shortening
• 1 cup packed light brown sugar
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 3 cups rolled oats
• 1 cup raisins

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
2. In a large bowl, cream together the butter, butter flavored shortening, brown sugar, white sugar, eggs, and vanilla until smooth. Combine the flour, baking soda, cinnamon, cloves, and salt; stir into the sugar mixture. Stir in the oats and raisins. Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheets.
3. Bake 10 to 12 minutes until light and golden. Do not overbake. Let them cool for 2 minutes before removing from cookie sheets to cool completely. Store in airtight container. Make sure you get some, because they don't last long!

These are yummy - emergency or not.

Friday's Letter

Dear Mr. Veen:  every time my alarm clock goes off you jump several feet off the bed.  Not sure how you get back to sleep after that but it definitely gets me up.  Dear a.m. jogs:  you have kicked my hiney this week!  Can you say out of shape?  It's the one reason I'm thankful it's not swimsuit season quite yet.  Dear Justin Bieber:  I am learning more about you via my son.  Pros:  you're cute, sing well, dance well and have good hair.  BIG CON:  you seem to enjoy picking up on women who are entirely too old for you.  Dear Pink:  something about your music channels my inner rebel.  I think I've found inspiration for my next Halloween costume in this video.  Dear Pad Thai:  what is it about peanuts, fish sauce, bean sprouts, cilantro and lime that melds into deliciousness?  I'm loving it!  And last to Mr. Veen:  we have begun the planning for our annual anniversary get away.  Can I just say I can't wait! 

Hasta la pasta!

Friday's Letter

Dear Mr. Veen:  apparently a little thing called "Mustache March"  will soon be upon us.  For the record - I take back suggesting you do the Morgan Spurlock.  Dear Gropple:  according to the weather man you are neither hail nor snow but instead a piece of hail encased in snow.  I'm just happy to have acquired a fun new vocab word - thanks!  Dear Jake:  my favorite new nickname for you is "sprinkle nose".  I'm hoping one of these days you'll let me snap some photos of you!  Dear Jack Johnson:  if there's any way to get into a sunny mood it's by listening to your music.  Favorite line of "Flake" - "it seems to me that "maybe", pretty much always means no..."  and now I really can't wait for flip-flop weather.  Dear Self:  just realize right now you WILL be waiting awhile for flip-flop weather, after all admitting you're powerless is the first step.  And last to Mr. Veen:  this morning you actually said "It's cold" --- and YES we're finally on the same temperature page. Wish it didn't have to get down to 20's to get us there! 

HAPPY WEEKEND!!

Friday's Letter

Dear Mr. Veen:  over the last couple days my presence has caused you to feel weak in the knees and not for all the cliche reasons - thanks for hanging in there with me!  Dear Squeaky Vent:  I try to remind myself that you're one of those "quirky, cute" things about having an old house but truth be told you very well could drive me to insanity one of these days.  Dear Self:  check into getting squeaky vent fixed.  Dear Regina Spektor:  there are so many things to love about you - wild curly hair, red lipstick, slightly strange looking, vintage feel, but mostly you and your music just make me feel better - especially this song!  Dear Community:  I have been brought A)  Chicken Enchilada's B)  Fudge Brownie Ice Cream C) Creamy Chicken Pasta D)  Pumpkin Bars E) Homemade Bread Sticks F)  Two Bottles of Wine or G)  ALL OF THE FREAKING ABOVE!  Dear Bed:  It was very nice to get to know you again these past few days but we knew it couldn't last forever.....Dear Mr. Veen:  yesterday when I emerged from my bed-cave I found you vacuuming and folding laundry.  Now it's my turn to feel weak in the knees!  Love you more than support hose and elevated beds!

HAPPY FREAKING WEEKEND!

p.s.  If you guessed G to the above quiz you get an A plus!  My community is amazing - the end:)